Mundane Miraculous Reality and 9 Other Original Poems
All those years I thought that
Reality inside me was a dream
When in truth
The reality out there was the dream
As if life were about
Standing in line at the bank
Working 9 to 5
And shopping for groceries
Or watching politicians send people to war
Letting oil destroy oceans
And hunger claim lives
Then I awakened to the true reality
Multidimensionality
The consistent stream
Existence in grand design
Awareness of the hologram
The Hell planes
And eternal nature
Then I knew this was in fact Life
The cars, the malls
The lines at the bank
Seemingly mundane reality
All symbols, reflections
At its deepest core: Spirit
Multidimensionality
Spirit in physical form
Manifested by the hearts of many
Not mundane
Miraculous
A roadmap to the soul
Such is Life
Such is life
I think
As I stare into the trees
The trees that somehow
Reach past today
And touch forever
Such is life
That I might be like the tree
Growing and living
One cycle in time
Such is life
That I might feel this emptiness and pain
And know what it is to be human
And this is life
At least to me
To feel and to unfold
Myself
To me
Wind by the Lake
How is it that the sun glimmers upon the lake
Like small white stars across the water
And the trees so still stand like shadows
Here with the birds and the sky I lie
Beneath the clouds and the sun
In the quietness of nature I hear
Only the wind who whispers
Into my ear
And across my face
The story of the world and its beauty
Even as the cars make their ways across the highway
Even as the plane makes its way across the sky
The wind whispers a story of beauty
Into my ear
And across my face
Through my hair
And across my skin
Through my heart
And across my mind
And into the soul within
Mother Storm
Light across the sky
Booming thunder in my ears
Send shivers down my spine
Nature calls with a mighty roar
And sheets of water upon my head
Remind me of a power I can’t hold
Mother to the Earth
And maintainer of all I see
Sings and dances on her own
I am one in an artistic show
Yet through the window I must watch
While she plays her mighty role
Half Spoken Deceit
As I open my mouth to say such innocent words
My tongue cannot say them
They stay forever clinging to my throat
And echoing, echoing in my mind
And then you fade into the distance
Your words drift on and by me
And I cannot say them
Those words clinging to my throat
And you cannot see them
Those words hanging on my mind
But we both know it
Just myself and I
Why words can be empty
Or even deceitful
When half is spoken
And heard
And the rest
Locked in the heart
Michelle's Divorce
I hear her tears
through the phone
Broken, her story unfolds
The man she thought loved her
lifts his hands to push her
throws his words to beat her:
“Stupid Filipina”
He hides behind
his masks, his suits
the lies that he speaks
to everyone he knows
He loves Stupid Filipina
because she is weak
stumbles with her English
and can be used and blamed
If only he would go
Instead he lingers
to call her “bad”
and blame her for anything
that displeases him
even his own choices
his reputation
his failures
his absence as a father
Michelle and I laugh until we cry
You are to blame, Michelle
for the leaky faucet
in his new kitchen and
how his shoes don’t fit
and why his new woman cries
Months pass
and still he lingers
He doesn’t want to stop owning her
His punishment is his own pain
as he masquerades a face of joy
I am called to stand up straight
Woman, Sister, Friend
I cannot stomach the lies
and will not stand for the abuse
I pick up my little sister
and show her she is Warrior
fight for what is right in your heart, Michelle
I take back the night
She stands up to fight
As for him - troubled soul
won't heal without intention
no matter what lies he tells to himself
In one little corner of the world
a man remains in his prison
but one woman is free
Walking Through the Misty Air
Walking through the misty air
Autumn’s cool hand upon my face
Memories flow in of yesterday
No particular time comes to mind
Just a warming feeling of winters gone by
With fire burning in the stove
And trees standing still in the distance
Piles of snow settling gently on their branches
A quiet mood washes over me
I see years rushing by
With every snowflake to come
And every summer soon to follow
Roman Catholic Girl of Color Makes an Escape
Daddy was King
Daddy was machismo
Daddy was the one in charge
The dictator
The one who is served
Take Daddy his food
Find Daddy’s remote
Clean Daddy’s car
No, you cannot go to the dance
Boys will be boys but girls will stay home
Girls will be protected from the boys
Good girls go to church
Wear pretty white dresses
To First Holy Communion
Are thankful to God
And respect their elders
Good girls pray
And go to school
Stay away from boys, Girls
No sex outside of marriage
Girls will clean
Girls will serve
Listen closely, Girl
Girls are pretty but not too smart
Best you look for The One
The one who will take care of you
Then came the silence of the world inside
And the inner voices
The confusion
Tears of oppression
Desperate need for acknowledgment
Hopelessness
The feeling of sinking into the ground
Trying to disappear into the earth
And the pain
Pain that permeates the soul
Pain that becomes unnamable
And is ever present
Please somebody see that I am here
Then by grace
Or grand design
The question
Who am I?
And the search
The shedding of all the layers
Shedding the voices that are not my own
The journey to save all the little girls inside
Standing behind tall fences
Escape the prison
Pick up the mirror
Blow away the layers of dust
Walk across the bridge
I am here now
I am home
Snow Turned Into Rain
The snow turned into rain
Rain and snow brought emotions
Of cold seasons gone by
Winter, always so solemn, pensive
It was winter the year I moved
A thousand miles away from home
I was 19 when I sold my things
Packed my car with destination: East
With a boy I thought I wanted to marry
Zero money and stranded in the Bible Belt
We slept in a printer’s out building
Feeding the fire in the middle of the night
And feeling the depth of life
A brand new future
Fast forward five years and I am his wife
Sitting in my outdoor hot tub
While he is away
Busily multiplying our money
I stare into the trees
It’s winter again
Snow is settling on the trees’ branches
Maybe I was wrong about that boy
We had a house on the hill
In the best school district
With a game room and custom garden
We traveled, saw concerts
Ate, drank, and were merry with friends
But I was lonely
I realized it every time I sat in my hot tub
Next to the multilevel garden he built into the hill
I realized it in the silence of staring at those trees
The way I am staring
at the snow, melting in the rain,
right now
Healing Has a Name
I wasn’t always a good girl
More like a Catholic girl gone rogue
Or like a girly girl gone wild
In truth, a pained girl, bent
Building walls for strength
Against the unnamable pain
Mind asked, “Is this the original sin?”
“This pain I cannot name?”
Then, by perseverance, by grace
By grand design, Illusions
Rose up to be dealt with
And all my little girls behind fences
Rose up to heal their separation
Naming our pain:
It is called “Leaving myself”
Because I didn’t know another way
Because I didn’t know how to show up
Then in a breath, all is healed
Healing has a name:
It is called “Self-love”
Because awareness changes everything
Because when One shows up in Love for Self
Reality changes in an instant
Licensing
For information on licensing Maria Enaje's original poetry or to hire Maria for custom poetry services, contact mariaenaje@gmail.com